Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Can you believe it's almost HALLOWEEN!!!

Halloween is right around the corner! 

I use to love Halloween.  I've always loved dressing up and handing out candy on my front porch to all the little kids, but since Drew's passing Halloween is just not the same for us.  Matter of fact today is the anniversary of Drew's accident.  All weekend Drew was heavy on Gary's mind.  Gary and I went to a wedding Saturday night and I noticed he was just not himself.  He wasn't eating or really smiling at all.  I finally asked him what was wrong.  I knew it wasn't me forcing him to go to the wedding because I had not and was shocked when he got dressed to go with me.  He said the wedding was nice and he was glad everyone was so happy, but all he could think about was Drew's 3 girls and how one day they'll be getting married and he won't be here to walk them down the isle.  I felt so bad for even asking him what was wrong.  I didn't know what to say.  There just aren't any words!  Needless to say we didn't stay long at the reception.  

So the next few days leading up to the 3lst are just a reminder now to us of the week we sat with Drew in the hospital until he took his last breath on the 31st.  Life is so unfair sometimes.  My heart breaks not only for the Claytons, but for so many others that have lost a child.  It's just not right!  

My only hope in this all is that I know God is still here.  He's my ANCHOR. 

Love this song by Skillet... Anchor:
here's the lyrics:

"Drifting beneath the horizon
Body is weak but I'm trying
To make it to shore, but I'm falling short
I need You more
Wave after wave, I've been sinking
So unto Your promise I'm clinging
You say that I'm strong, to You I belong
Keep holding on
You are my anchor
So steady me, steady me now
You are my anchor
You're keeping my feet on the ground
In angry oceans, You've never broken through
Every wave of the storm
You are my anchor
So steady me, steady me now
Come steady me, steady me now
When I get tired of finding
All of the fears I've been hiding
You gave me a breath, and tell me to rest
You never left
I can, I can, I can hear You, calling me by name
Pulling me up from under my shame
I'll never be the same
I can face anything, so let it rain
You are my anchor
So steady me, steady me now
You are my anchor
You're keeping my feet on the ground
In angry oceans, You've never broken through
Every wave of the storm
You are my anchor
So steady me, steady me now
Come steady me, steady me now
Don't let go
I don't want to do this alone
Don't let go
I know that I'll drown on my own
You are my anchor
So steady me, steady me now (I don't want to do this alone)
Anchor
You're keeping my feet on the ground (I know that I'll drown on my own)
In angry oceans, You've never broken through
Every wave of the storm
You are my anchor
So steady me, steady me now
Come steady me, steady me now"

So I  just keep leaning on him.  I'm continuing my training.  Actually my exercising really helps.  I so wish Gary had a hobby.  

My week last week:

Monday -  Swim 3,600 yards - I had to cut it short to 3,000 yards.  It was a holiday for the schools and the kids came in to practice for South State.  

Tuesday - Rest Day

Wednesday - Swim 2,000 yards

Thursday - Run 45 min, bike 45 min (only got the run in... ended up working late and had a terrible headache)

Friday - Rest day

Saturday - 3 hour bike followed by 2 mile brick run (it was a cool morning and it was COOL on the bike... boy it's been awhile since I didn't sweat down on the bike! ha)

Sunday - 1 hour 30 min run

Keep moving forward is my motto... Ironman Florida is coming up fast.  Hoping for a nice race day!  Calm waters and not much wind on the bike!  I doubt I'll get both...but a girl sure can hope. :) 

I also love this song by  Francesca Battistelli... The breakup song.. the chorus that I love:

"Fear, you don't own me
There ain't no room in this story
And I ain't got time for you
Telling me what I'm not
Like you know me well guess what?
I know who I am
I know I'm strong
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here
"

So Fear you aren't welcome at IM Florida!! D

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